well I can't set my house on fire every night
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
