I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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