Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Randomize
