At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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