We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
