i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
