pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
