I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
