last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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