First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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