Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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