I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
birth control should be required to get into college
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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