At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize