I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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