I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Duck Duck Cougar?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
