I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
