what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
