At least make sure they are 18
Why
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
