I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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