I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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