I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
