Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Michael Bay diarrhea
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
