How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
nutella sex= disaster
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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