Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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