So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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