i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
