When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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