xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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