I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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