I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
