You're my little dorito
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
