Where did you get a picture of my penis
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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