i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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