Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize