Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
