it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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