I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
