A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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