Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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