Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
