It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
