so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
