So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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