You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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