my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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