the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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