i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
