so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
