now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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