Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
