I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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