I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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