would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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