Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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