at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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