I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
