Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
