I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
