My room smells like vodka and shame
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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