just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.