its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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