I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
only you would photoshop your dick
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word