I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah