We're facebook friends in real life
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra