White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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