two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
