Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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