Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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